I give up.
You said that I'm the one that tore down your defenses, that strip you of your pride, your dignity, everything about you until you feel like some piece of dirt. You said that you feel like you got sucked into whatever it is between Kyoya and I. You said, that I'm the one stabbing knives into your chest.
Isn't it better if I left then? Or are you such a masochist to want to hold one to someone so despicable as me.
You said that I don't care about you. I don't care about your feelings. That I'm not treating you as a boyfriend. Then fine. You know what? Maybe my mom was right. We should have made our relationship open. You can be one of my "suitors" and I can hang out, talk and listen to my guy friends without you bothering me about them. And when you feel like I'm not caring about you, feel free to go on your merry way to find someone else.
And you can't stand being called immature. It's not the things you do. But how you react to things. Do you realise every time something bad happens to you, the first way you react is to get pissed off, throw a tantrum and blame that God's playing Legos with you.
So how do you expect me to seek you for mature advice, when I know the moment i talk about the situation, the first thing you would do is be pissed off and throw a tantrum and I would be the one having to deal with the mess first. When I seek someone for advice, I want a solution, not a mess to deal with.
When you figure out how to react to things with a level head, then I'll start finding you when I need help.
And you want me to trust you more than Kyoya. You, who have two-timed people before, who cheated on Yuki, who have hurt me more times within these months of being your boyfriend than Kyoya ever did being my friend (and who has yet to lose my trust), want me to trust you more than Kyoya?
Shell warned me that you would be the type to cheat on a person when you think you found someone better. You did it in secondary school. Guess what? You did it again with Yuki, and you said you loved her and wanted to marry her at a point of time. So when is it my turn? Or am I wrong for feeling apprehensive and insecure?
I may be naive, but even I'm not that big of an idiot to think it will never happen to me. I'm also not that big of an idiot to think that all those sweet words said to me have never been said to anyone else.
And you don't even know me as well as you think you do, so why should I take your word that you know Kyoya better than I do? And don't say that you know me. If you do know me, most of the things we fight about could have been avoided, most of this hurt could be avoided.
And I'm done. I am done feeling like I've been ran through by a truck every time I have to deal with you. I am done trying to explain things to you when neither of us can see eye to eye.
If you don't want me to leave, at least grant me time-out from you, at least until I return to Singapore. I'm tired already, of trying to deal with you when you're so far away. Tired of misinterpreting and being misunderstood.
I rather go back to Singapore and start back from state 0 again.