Dear God,

I'm sorry I forgot how great You are, and how small I am, and how awesome is Your mighty hand.

 I know You placed me here, in China. Yet, I'm struggling so much with so many things. Walking in the wilderness is a tough thing indeed.

I'm sorry I lost sight of why I'm here. You had things to teach me, that's why You placed me here. And as Mother Theresa said "I know God doesn't give me anything more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much." I knew You won't give me more than I can handle, but sometimes, it feels like it's gonna swallow me whole.

In the midst of life itself here, I lost my sight. I lost my focus. And I lost sight of You.

And even though I kept telling myself that You were faithful before and You'd be faithful again, and that You were holding my hand, but I no longer believed. I doubted. And I'm sorry. For my little faith. For my own ignorance.

But Lord, sometimes it's so hard. To keep believing when I can't see anymore. And a part of me was so scared. I didn't know where You were anymore.

And as I was talking to Tamaki, he made me remember what I was here for. I was here to learn, TCM or not, I was here to learn life. I was here to open my mind, broaden my horizons and all.

Sure, there are down times. And sometimes the down times seem so much more than the good times. But You are steadfast, Lord. You saw me through tough times, and this time will be no exception.

So I'll just grit my teeth now, and bear with it. And maybe once this storm in my life is over, I'd know why I was here. And I'll see the rainbow after the rain.

There's a raging sea, right in front of me 
Wants to pull me in, bring me to my knees 
But let the waters rise, if You want them to 
I will follow You, I will follow You 

You made me a fighter, Lord. And I will fight through this. And I will be victorious.

Back to the present?