I really should do something like this for the various colours to me. It sounds quite fun and interesting. To describe a colour.

Anyway, I have to write this today.

First of all, Happy Birthday Mom! You were my first reason I had a particular fondness for dragons, and as I knew you, that fondness grew to a near obssession. ^^"

And second, I really REALLY wished I had been in Singapore today. Today is my church, RiverLife's Christmas Musical Production. It's the first for my church. And with Zack working as a dancer/singer on stage, and Sam working the lightings and music in the background, it was the closest thing to a family production on a grand scale.

And I missed it

That being said, I have a feeling that this won't be the last thing such things will happen. And a part of me really wish to see them all.

So this is to my brothers, whom I watched over since they were rebellious vicious idiots.

To Sam,

I have known you since forever. Your petty little fights with me over the dominance of the house when my parents are gone. And how you learned to be a better observer and support than I could ever imagine. How you would flare up at the slightest things that don't go your way, and your trail of destruction after. And how you learned to rein in your temper, and use them as fangs instead of just barks.

How you would play with stationery spread all over your bed, with scenes only you understand. And how you are learning to re-create those scenes for the world to see. How you have always been the one lagging behind. And how you have learned to be a leader with a soft heart and who knows how to support.

To be honest, I never knew what you could be, as you were never quite as decisive as Zack. But I guess, God has a plan for us all. Even when all sorts of logistics and administration stood in your way when you first tried to enter your course, all you did was pray, and all the problems vanished, literally. And I don't know if you would ever realise, but you were the one who almost single-handedly brought back Christianity into our family, when it was all falling apart. It started with you.

So even before you entered the army to "be a man", or however the slogan puts it, I just want you to know that for a long time I have seen you as a boy. Congratulations. In my eyes, you are now a man. There are still many obstacles along the way, and many struggles in between. But I have seen you. I know you.

And I know, you will succeed.

To Zack,

You were the easier one to figure out of the two of you. Headstrong, implusive, fiery temper (if I recall correctly), always wanting to lead and never fall behind. For some reason, I saw a bright future in you. And I believed in you. Knowing that you will eventually learn what I knew of you.

You were like Sam in so many ways, yet so different. When you wanted Animation, it actually didn't fit in with whatever I saw you to be, but you liked to draw, and if you believed you saw a future in it, I'll always back you up no matter what.

And now, even as your year ends, you realised the same thing I knew when I first played with you in the playground. You are not meant to be at a desk working. You are meant to go up to the frontline and conquer. You did it before, when you were nothing but a heartless brat, you will do it again.

I guess all it needed was a spark, and when you came back from camp, somehow, I could tell, everything is going to be different. You were different. You learned to lead, yet emphatise. Listen with an open mind, but not without opinions. And in a way, you learned to command all those around you, like the Sun with its orbiting planets.

And I know, whatever you want in the future, be it as a Animator or as a Businessman, as long as you want it, I know you will get it. I had in mind what you should be. You have reached and exceeded that already. And I know, just like Sam, you will succeed well in life.

God made you a conqueror. And I have a feeling, He will lead you into blazes of glory. And He won't let you fail.

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If Zack's like the Sun, all hot and blazing and warm and lively, Sam's like the Moon, cool and gentle and always watching.

Me? If there's anything to describe me, I'm like the clouds. Always drifting around, never quite settling nor moving on. Never really definitive, yet never really changing. Clouds, to me, are like some intermediate state, when they can't decide to be the sky or the rain. Always hovering, yet never really doing anything about it. Haha! Maybe it explains why until now, I actually still have no idea what I want.

As for my friends,

Kyoya is like water, like an ocean, to me. Soft, fluid, gentle (though at times he's like the roar of the ocean waves when it crashes onto land during a storm), a strong support. A necessity in life. Sometimes dark, mysterious and dangerous, like those abyss. Sometimes peaceful like the streams in a forest. He's also like water in the sense that I know what he is, but I just can't quite describe it properly.

How do you describe water? When it's all clear and colourless, yet bends perspectives out of shape. When you add colours into it, it changes into so many things, yet never really changing at the same time. When it can be a source of life, inspiration and what-not, yet at the same time a source of death when you go too deep. Water is so many things that you can't really describe, yet you can't say you don't know.

That's Kyoya to me.

Sweetie, is a forest. A sign of life, care, love and so many things. She's like those types of forests where the more you cut, the faster and stronger it grows, until you can't cut it anymore. Sometimes, because she's small and adorable, people think she's just a tree or a sapling. But somehow, when I see her, I don't see a tree. I see an endless forest. Those kind that glows when the sun shines down and is nothing short of magical. That's what she feels like to me.

She cares for others deeply, and sometimes, I get swept away by it, and all I can do, is just fuel that care. As long as she has the intentions, I will do my best to help her find the means to get it. That being said, she's very much self-sufficient on her own. Relying on others, yet also standing on her own very well. A delicate balance, yet she's doing it almost perfectly. She flutters when the wind blows, yet never really flying away. Firm when the storms come, and beautiful when the sun shines.

That is Sweetie to me.

Back to the present?