I was listening to this song "Someone Worth Dying For" by Mikeschair, and something about the lyrics just struck me. (by the way, it's a Christian song)
This is how the chorus goes:
Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah, I want to believe, I want to believe that
I'm not just some wandering soul
That you don't see and you don't know
Yeah, I want to believe, Jesus help me believe
That I am someone worth dying for
Somehow, the lyrics got me thinking. Am I really someone worth dying for? After all, I don't have an ego issue where I think I'm God's gift to mankind, so it does make me wonder. After all, I know my flaws, being so glaringly obvious, and in the bible, we are all taught that Jesus died on the Cross for all of us.
And I wonder... What was it that went through Jesus' mind, what went through God's mind for that matter, as he faced death. What did he see in you, in me, in all of us, that made it worth the life of a God? I mean, I'm sure God saw in the future who would betray him, who would backstab him, who would believe and love him, and who pretend to love and believe him, who would refuse to believe him no matter what they see or hear and all. So... Just what did Jesus see in all of us, every single human, that made him believe that it was worth dying for?
Personally, I never believed my life was worth so much that people would die for me. =/ And (believe it or not) I actually struggled for many years, especially on Good Friday, wondering why was Jesus such an IDIOT for dying for someone like me. As in, theoretically I know He died to save humanity and all and it's the will of God and it must happen and blah blah blah, but somehow, I can never quite come to terms with it.
Not then, not now.
And even now I still wonder, what did God see in me, that was worth His crown, His divinity (after all, one of the Holy Trinity, the Son, became a human to die for us), His life and His glory. What did He see in me that was worth giving up everything?