Ok. I'm having withdrawal symptoms from my addiction in the form of Cross.
Anyway, just for the fun of it, we started sharing what songs remind us of each other. For Cross, he reminds me of a lot of songs. The most recent one being "In Your Mind" by SR-71. (Btw, I love this song. BUT I STILL CAN'T FIND A PLACE TO DL IT!!!)
Since he's been having dreams (and nightmares) about me. The nightmares being, me leaving. Especially for China. And somehow... This song reminded me of him.
The song is basically a lover lost his loved one. So there in his mind, he revives the person in his dreams, if he could fall asleep, that is.
Doesn't help that Cross is suffering from insomnia now, due to all the thoughts running through his mind.
And he shared with me this song, "Find Me" by Boyce Avenue. That's the song that he thinks about all the time, when he thinks of me.
The lyrics goes something like this:
So many nights trying to hide it
But now I stay awake just pleading for more
To think this heart was divided
I’m losing sleep cause I can’t ignore…
Feeling your touch all around
Peacefully hearing the sound
Of silence around us, so glad we found us this way
Find me, here in your arms
Now I’m wondering where you’ve always been
Blindly, I came to you
Knowing you’d breathe new life from within
Can’t get enough of you
I want to be where you are
In times of need I just want you to stay
I leave a note on your car
When I can’t find the right words to say
Hearing your voice all around
The last place we’re going is down
I’ll blindly follow knowing you’re leading the way
Find me, here in your arms
Now I’m wondering where you’ve always been
Blindly, I came to you
Knowing you’d breathe new life from within
With you in time
There’s nothing else
My life stands still
You are the will that makes me strong
Make me strong
If ever alone in this world I know I’ll always…
Find me, here in your arms
Now I’m wondering where you’ve always been
Blindly, I came to you
Knowing you’d breathe new life from within
You sleep, here in my arms
Where the world just shuts down for awhile
Blindly, you came to me
Finding peace and belief in this smile
Find some peace and belief in this smile
Can’t get enough of you
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In a sense, the lyrics ring true for him. He said I give him the sanity of life, when he lost all purpose for life itself. And I made him happy, when he felt like he didn't deserve happiness.
Now, before you start judging, let me just say that everyone carries emotional baggages, his just happen to be heavier than most. His hands are stained with blood, so he said, and the guilt and regret of his past weighs him down. Yet, he doesn't know any other way to live.
You could say all he sees is his own darkness and sins around him. And me? I'm some really bright light in his life, apparently, and he's drawn to me like a moth to a flame.
In a way, I guess... We're both idiots. Him, for needing me. And me, for wanting to be needed.