I think after thinking about through last night (and ranting on my blog), I guess I found my conclusion.
I can never consider anything with Cross without considering Yuki. And while I am getting more pissed off at Yuki in general because I think she needs to be a better friend because I myself am trying like hell to reach to her, but in the end, she matters too much to me (and I am an idiot that puts so much value in her).
But no matter my feelings, I will never take Cross from Yuki, even if I want to. That is a fact.
And knowing that he will never be mine, knowing that he pretty much dangled what I wanted the most in front of me and know I can't have it, I really wish I can hate him and be pissed off at him, but I can't.
And I guess what he says is true, eventually, I will move on without him. I will learn to leave him behind, like I do to others.
But as of the moment, I can't do that. So I will distance myself. After all, I am the third party here...
It's better this way. And eventually, I will reach a point where I can kill my heart and build back my walls.
Though I seriously doubt things can be the same. The number of people I am willing to sacrifice my world for can be counted on one hand. And he's one of them. So yeah...
I may not be able to return his love, nor can I take it, but he is still someone I will always treasure in my life.
And I guess what he says to me will also hold true for him. That no matter what happens, he will always be there for me. And I, too, will always be there if he ever needs me.
And while I can't return his feelings, I won't reject him either. I can't. So whatever he gives me, be it good or bad, I'll just accept it. It's the least I can do for him.
For now, however, I'll just live with the tears.