Tick tock. Tick tock.
And my own time is running out. 2 weeks to complete my damn cases, plus study for exams. Whoo.
Part of me can't wait to get home. And... Well... I think I've complained enough about the other part of me already. Heck, I complained enough about both parts. =/
Now to start on more working and less complaining. =P
So far, I've wrote 10 half-cases. XD Yes yes. I know the other half is the most important part, but for some reason, I felt it's better when I write it like this. =X It's just a personal preference.
It's ridiculous and not effective, since I have to read through it twice and all. But when writing that damn part, I have to keep re-reading it anyway (for me at least)... So might as well.
Now my only battle is with my pessimistic side and my optimistic side. The pessimistic side is going "You already failed the other papers. No point trying. You know what you're going to get. You tried before. The results never changed. Each time you just get more and more disappointed in yourself. So why bother anymore?"
And the optimistic side is going "Just try again. Who knows? You might surprise yourself by passing, like back in NTU. Keep trying again!"
And the realistic side decides to give its own opinion "In NTU, you have a one week study break. For ONE module of chinese. Here. You have 3. In 2 weeks. With lessons in between. And even then, you barely pass. Getting Cs and Ds. When you came here, what other grade would you expect with that kind of studying?"
Ugh. Even my more realistic side is totally siding my pessimistic side. =(
And yes, Kyoya, I do want to pass. But I know exactly what my standard of chinese is... And it's nowhere near passing grade. And yes, I know that feeling. Of trying so hard, but going nowhere.
And I guess it comes down to how much I want to pass... But... I dunno... Anything school-related doesn't seem to be worth much to me anymore.
Ugh. I think it's just my own mind, influenced by the weather, the location and everything. That's why it's in this state now. I'll be alright eventually. When I get home, when the sun is back out, when everything is as it should be, I'll be alright again.
I'll be alright.