The cheer guys has some HTHT about one another and ourselves. Basically, we give our impressions of each other when we first met, and now. If I remember correctly, JU and M both said that I was a little odd at first, but eventually, they decided I was just different. XD A said I was thought-provoking, VR thought I was courageous to join a team of which I know no one. JA said I talk too much. XD But I do think quite a bit. ZH said I was consistent, KY said I was a good girl. =.= *woof* YX does not like to have first impressions of people and wanted to keep his opinions open. My dear, IT'S NOT SET IN STONE. But I sort of understand what he means.

Through last night, I learnt several things... First, YX doesn't like me that way. XD I can sort of tell. The way he treats me is very much like that of Sam and Zac. Second, he likes those kind of ODAC girls. XD I can understand that too actually... >.> I mean... They're are quite cool, and fun to hang around with. There no sort of "fireworks" sort of chemistry between him and me, actually. Just a really deep fondness of him on my side... >.>

Anyway, back to topic. I was also supposed to give my impressions of them, but since I didn't really know any of them initally, there was no first impressions. But subsequently, these are my impressions of them and what i've learnt about them and how it all ties in to my colours XD:

JU - Navy Blue
You do have a puppy look. Aside from that, you are actually a deep thinker who processes through a lot before deriving a conclusion. And when you do, you would have already taken into consideration what everyone's opinion would be. There's a certain calmness about your character, though you panick a lot internally. You rarely find things un-interesting, mainly due to the fact you have things going on inside your head. You are slow to anger and tend to hide your true emotions, especially if you don't wish to offend someone. You like honest feedbacks, to add on to your self-reflections. You are not fond of surprises, rather, you like to know stuffs. (To me at least) Your life seems to be a routine, but I guess you like it that way... It like looking at a very deep pond. On the surface, it's calm, sometimes sparkly and seemingly tranquil. But deep down, there are loads of undercurrents and just a sense of a bottomless pit way below.

ZH - Yellow, underlying navy
You are a very bright and cheerful person whose personality shines, the same way the Sun shines through the clouds. You are very bubbly and easily excitable, much like a ball of energy. You are like the center of a party, you just draw attention to yourself through your actions and words. Basically, you like to laugh and have fun. But like most yellows, although they rarely show it, you have a much deeper, darker side of you as well. You tend to be very realistic, to the point where even supposed situations have to make sense to you. And you'll give it a lot of thought before giving a reply, showing that there is a hint of underlying navy in you. But overall, you are a cheery, laid-back person who looks on the bright side of life.

M - Pink/Yellow
You are bright and cheerful too, like ZH, and since both of you are sort of coded Yellow, you can understand each other well, but you are on the opposite end of JU, whom you will most likely be unable to understand well. XD You are bouncy and energetic and basically full of life. You are also coded Pink as you are quite feminine by nature. You do show care towards the others, and take care of us, similar to Jane. You also do your best to identify and understand everyone, which is something most Yellows do actually... As they are quite people-oriented. And while you do worry about immediate problems, you take things in your stride, hence making you relatively laid-back, a characteristic of Yellow.

YX - Orange, underlying green
You are very vibrant, and outstanding. Those coded Orange are also quite flexible with the people they hang out with. They are more complex that Primary Colours, considering the fact that they're personality is like a blend of colours. For YX, he is a definitely blend between yellow and red, often oscillating between the two. However... There's is an underlying sense of stability I get from him... A sort of consistency and security. He's also rather easy-going, making life simple instead of complicating it. He has a certain camaraderie for those he deems worthy. He's intuitive, but thinks things through before acting on any gut instinct. He has a soft, sweet and caring side that oddly mixes well with his playful, wild and insane side, giving him an unusual character that may not be easily accepted in the world, but he knows where he stands. And that confidence and strength is an admirable quality in a world where most hides behind a facade of lies and deception.

JA - Blue
You are hard on the outside but soft on the inside. On the exterior, you are this cool, tough person, but deep inside, there is a much softer, sweeter side of you. There is this sense of protectiveness and security around you. You are quite a thinker, like JU, but you don't internalize it and roll it over and over inside your mind like he does. You are not one to act on instinct, choosing reason over implusion. You are like a lone wolf, like me. You are only controlled by yourself. You walk the talk and you aren't afraid of the consequences. Probably because you've thought them through.

KY - Turquoise, underlying red
He has a sort of egoistic side that is very amusing. He's not really a deep thinker, so I can't really consider him blue, yet he's not odd enough to be considered a warm colour. He only has streaks of eccentric-ness, hence the underlying red. A difficult mix of easy-going nature with the need to be tough, gives rise to a turquoise the shade of BMS I's jacket, but brighter. There is also a underlying sense of insecurity I get from him, despite all his big talk. Hm... Can't really describe him properly. There's just this part of him I can't talk to. He's playful too, but in a rather different way from YX and the others.

A - Orange/Red
A is vibrant too, like YX. He's bouncy (aka full of life) and very open. He has a very fun-loving, easy-going side that makes it easy for him to get along with most people. Like YX, he too is coded Orange, meaning he can switch from yellow to red frequently, however, A tends to lean more towards the red, indicating he's a little more eccentric than most, but what he likes, he is very passionate about. There's also a sense of laziness around him, much like a cat basking in the sun. He cruises along in life, taking things as it comes, hence the constant flicker to Yellow.

VR - Dark Green
VR is easy-going and a very stable person to be with. There is a certain maturity about him, like JU, hence he is also a dark shade. He is caring and have a sense of protectiveness around him; he looks out for people, especially those he cares about. However, he can be quite judgmental, especially when it comes to first impressions. He gives off the impression that he is a cool, suave guy, but I think it's just me... But I think it's a mask. He's honest and open, and not afraid to speak his mind, even if it offends. I don't know... Writing about VR is about as hard as writing about KY. Zzz...

There are more, but these are the few whom I deemed my pack... So to speak. The others... I'm mot really close to them... So I shall not comment on people whom I may misunderstand. As it is... I'm not sure my analysis of them is right anyway. Hm... Maybe I should try taking an elective for psychology. XD

P.S. this post may be changed according to my analysis.

Back to the present?

I'm in a fight not physical
I'm in a war not of this world
You're the light that's beautiful
And I want more
I want all that's yours

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Doing lab reports is a killer. Zzz... My work is snowballing up to form one heck of a Frosty (the Snowman). Zzz... And I just teased YX about the same thing this morning... >.> Oh manz... He will be laughing if he ever (by which i mean NEVER) reads this. Ohh! I also found out an interesting fact yesterday!! It was an assumption I had a while ago, but only recently did I remember it. YX makes a VERY nice human cushion, a.k.a. he is cuddly... =3 Cause I remember giving him a farewell pat on the back, since he was tired, then I realised that his back is actually quite a comfortable place and he's warm~~~ (If he isn't I think he's a zombie... >.>) Hm... I think... My treatment of YX is slowly but surely changing... I'm treating him more like the way I treat Sam and Zac, though less affectionate. >.< God knows what the guys would think if I start treating YX like my bros.

Anyway... This week just feels very cluttered up with stuffs... It's my fault. I'm an idiot. But hell if I'm not going down without a fight. Zzz. Need to sleep. Going off.

Back to the present?

Today was hell crazy!! It started out with more tension than normal. Apparently, my dear petty dad got angry cause I didn't know he wanted coffee... =.= My dear... I CAN'T READ YOUR MIND!!! IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE COFFEE BACK HOME, TELL ME AND I WILL BUY FOR YOU!!! Zzz!! What a thing to start the day! In church of all places!! =.=

And I just kinda slept through the rest of the afternoon... Zzz... Was quite tired. Anyway, at night, I had cheeerleading for the last time this sem. Hm... For some reason, I just can't seem to get my locks and posture right... >.<>.< I will NOT be the weak point of the team. However, whether I can stay hall or not next sem... I'll leave it to God, and to the guys to help me out.

LockLockLockLockLockLockLockLockLockLockLockLockLockLockLockLockLock

Ooo! The crazy part is after cheerleading. We celebrated A's birthday! XD OMG! It was such a crazy event! YX brought a conditioner and slyly invited A outside, where he proceeded to dump the whole conditioner's content on A's head and body!! The other guys rushed out and helped to hold A down as the "torture" continued. Finally, when it ended, everyone (including me, Thanks A.. =.=) is covered in conditioner, since A wanted to share the "love". Hahahaha! Wash-up became a water war, where the handicapped toilet became the scene of an epic water fight! =3 Haha! The guys barricaded themselves in the handicapped toilet, and when they emerge, they have covered the toilet in conditioner, among others... >.> Haha! I went in to wash the toilet, and the guys washed the corridors where they first started the chaos. Then, apparently, VR decided I was too dry, so he happily showered me with lots of water! XD YX helped by using his bucket of water... =.= Hence, I was thoroughly drenched. Yay. A also decided to take his revenge by dumping more conditioner on me. WTH!?! Anyway, all in all, it was hell fun! The last time they barricaded themselves in the toilet, they celebrated A's birthday with a song, except that they stripped A down to his birthday suit while they did that! XD The best part was, at the end of everything, Ju realised that it was the wrong day. A's birthday was actually on Wednesday!! Hahahahahaha!! So we'll be having round 2 sometime soon! XD A part of me looks forward to it. Hehe! ~_^

PartyPartyPartyPartyPartyPartyPartyPartyPartyPartyPartyPartyPartyPartyParty

As for my mini project... it seems I'm the abnormal one after all... I mean, all the other girls are not as open-minded as I am... And it seems inappropriate to them... For the guys, actually, it's fine for them... But... I don't know. My brothers are more conservative and won't sleep in the same bed as the girl... I is narrow-minded, but I guess he's right in the sense that it is quite inappropriate for me to sleep in the same bed as YX with him in it...

But... the cheerleading guys and him... I do trust them to a certain level... Hell. If you want it in animal terms, if I'm alpha wolf, they are my pack. I am perfectly fine if they invite me over to sleep with them, cause i trust them enough to know that they won't do anything to me. Not that human nature is definite or anything... I mean, they may hurt me, or attack me, or gang up on me, and me being a dumb little girl can't fight back. But... Isn't that the whole point about trust...? That I can literally say I trust them with my life, body inclusive.

But I also understand things from I and my brothers' point of view... The cheerleading guys, I realise, are very open... More than a mind is supposed to be... To the point where the lines of right and wrong are now blurred, and morals no longer seem like such a big deal anymore... And I do admit, it's hard to keep myself from straying to that path... But deep inside me, I know I won't. Without my morals, I will be nothing. And God has been faithful in guiding me in this area. Thank you Lord.

ArigatouArigatouArigatouArigatouArigatouArigatouArigatouArigatouArigatouArigatou

I'll be moving house on the 7 of April officially... >.< I have no idea what am I supposed to feel about this. Part of me wants to stay in hall to focus... After all, exams are just round the corner... But a part of me wants to go back to see my family... I miss them. Lost... Zzz...

Sigh... Now is just a very tiring time for me... Bad time to move house too... Zzz... God, I need your strength to see me through this...

Back to the present?

There is something on my mind
But I can't tell you what it is
It hidden to deep within the recess of my memories
I, myself, am no longer sure what it is
It's confusing
It's complicating
It's going to turn my world upside down
But somehow
I know I won't regret this
Even if I look back
With tears in my heart
I'll still smile for you to see

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know if I made a mistake. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing anymore. All I know is that he is too nice to me. ... Correction: He is like me. I know that if I view a certain guy as a friend too, I will let him climb all over me... =.= But there is one difference. He knows that I do like him... Why are you doing this to me? I have no idea. Do you want to encourage my silly infatuation with you, before tossing me away? Or do you like me too?

ZZZ. I won't think so much. He is treating me much like how Sam and Zac treats me. XD Is that good or bad? Oh manzzz... I is gonna kill me him for this. Sigh... Is everything worth it in the end?

On FB, he commented on the ACES girls not being his type... I wonder... What his type is...? I sincerely doubt it's me...

Oh hell. Who the hell am I trying to kid?

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU IDIOT!!! I'M STILL HUMAN YOU ASS!!! I CAN STILL FEEL THOSE DAMN EMOTIONS YOU MAKE ME FEEL!!! I CAN REMEMBER YOUR WARMTH NEXT TO ME!!!! DAMMIT!!! IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME THEN JUST SAY SO AND DON'T ENCOURAGE ANYTHING!!! HELL PUSH ME AWAY FOR ALL I CARE!!! AT LEAST I CAN STILL STAND ON MY OWN TWO FEET!!! NOW WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK??? NOTHING?!??!?! I'M NOT GOD FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST!!! I AM A HUMAN!!! A BLOODY FEMALE WHO HAS A BLOODY SOFT SPOT FOR YOU!!!

Every action has its consequences. And I think payback will be a bitch. Kuso... Why the hell do you have to be my tranquiliser? I don't know what I should feel anymore... Kuso...

Dear God, why him? Why, of all the idiots in the world, WHY HIM?

Back to the present?

Dear God, please stop time for just a day
Cause I'm at a loss
As to what to do
But the hours are passing so fast
I have no time to reflect

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zzz... Chinese is, was and will be a disaster. I'm slowly progressing... But will it be enough for me to pass the exam?? I dunno anymore. The stress is getting to me it seems... Zzz... I hate Thursdays and Fridays. They're my longest days ever. For Thursdays, if there is cell, my day only ends by 10 pm... >.< Friday's lessons end by 6.30pm. Zzz!

My state of mind is nowhere near studying anymore... GOD! WTH SHOULD I DO???

Zzz... Trying to invite YX for next Saturday's service... I think it'll be fun... But I'm kinda afraid... =.= My crush is going to meet the LOVE of my life... OMG. I am so nervous... XD But... Zzz... I don't think he will understand. Hell, I don't even expect him to understand... But I only hope I can be myself before God with him around. I can't open my heart now it seems. Apparently, I lost the key. Zzz...

Exams are near... So near yet so far... Right now... I just feel... apathetic towards almost all situations now... I... Zzz... I hate the english language... It's too limited...

..................................................................................................................................

I hate breakthroughs... It gives a high afterwards, but the start, it feels like hell on earth.

I need you Lord Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go...?

Back to the present?

Chinese MUST DIE!!!

ZZZ!!! It's impossible to remember everything!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meme Taken from Inume:

70 things:

1. Are your parents married or divorced?
Married.

2. Are you a vegetarian?
Nope

3. Do you believe in Heaven?
Definitely

4. Have you ever come close to dying?
U talking about my first death? Or my soon-to-be second?

5. What jewelery do you wear 24/7?
None...

6. Favorite time of day?
Morning~~

7. Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
Yup. I eat the whole thing. XD

8. Do you wear makeup?
If I have to... D8

9. Ever have plastic surgery?
Hell No!!

11. What do you wear to bed?
At home, PJs~ In Hall, shirt and shorts

12. Have you ever done anything illegal?
Who hasn't?? ~_^

13. Can you roll your tongue?
Yeah.

14. Do you tweeze your eyebrows?
No

15. What kind of sneakers?
I WANT THE CONVERSE SORTA SNEAKERS THAT SORTA LOOK LIKE SHORT BOOTS

16.Do you believe in Abortions?
Nope. Dude... U vacuum a child out from your vagina. That idea is enough to give even adults nightmares. >.<

17. What is your Hair color?
Eh... Originally a very dark shade of brown... But I kinda dyed it...

18. Future child’s name?
Male, Dallas. Female, Amaris

19. Do you snore?
>.< Don't think so. I may drool though. XQ_

20. If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
JAPAN~~~

21. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
>.< No?

22. If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
Yay I won~ Can I keep it?

23. Gold or silver?
Silver all the way~

24. Hamburger or hot dog?
Hot dog.

25. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Meat. And die from constipation.

26. City, beach or country?
I want to try living in the country... ^^"

27. What was the last thing you touched?
Besides the keyboard of my labtop?? The chinese lecture notes... =.=

28. Where did you eat last?
In Hall.

29. When’s the last time you cried?
... Out of fear... Some time in Jan... During cheerleading. Out of stress or other reasons... 2 years ago?

30. Do you read blogs?
Only those close to me...

31. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
Usually... I do so. XD

32. Ever been involved with the police?
No?

33. What’s your favourite shampoo conditioner and soap?
Eh... Soap I think is LUX. Shampoo... Anything that smells nice?

34. Do you talk in your sleep?
Nope.

35. Ocean or pool?
Ocean!

36. So, who has the original missing questions?
???

37. Who would you take on a ménage à trois (read: threesome) for a dirty weekend?
Ooo... If the parties are willing... It's quite obvious who one will be... The other............................ doesn't exist on this dimensional plane.

38. Window seat or aisle?
Window.

39. Ever met anyone famous?
Is there anyone more famous than me?? XD Not really.

40. Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?
What life?

41. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
Twirl

42. Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey?
Eh... Neither

43. Basketball or Football?
SOCCER~~~

44. How long do your showers last?
Depends on how long the hot water lasts.

45. Automatic or do you drive a stick?
Auto. But I learnt how to drive a stick... XD

46. Cake or ice cream?
ICE CREAM. NO CAKE!! D<

47. Are you self-conscious?
Very.

48. Have you ever drank so much you threw up?
Zzz... I don't have that little self-control.

49. Have you ever given money to a beggar?
Eh... I think so?

50. Have you been in love?
I don't believe in love. But as for liking... yes.

51. Where do you wish you were?
NOT IN SCHOOL

52. Are you wearing socks?
No.

53. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
No.

54. Can you tango?
No!

55. Last gift you received?
... ... ... Eh... A balloon flower and a soft toy pencil box from YX?

56. Last sport you played?
Soccer?

57. Things you spend a lot of money on?
Puzzles. Puzzles. Food. Puzzles. Random Trinklets.

58. Where do you live?
In my mind

59. Where were you born?
In a hospital?

60. Last wedding attended?
My dad's cousin

61. Okay, I just deleted this question, which was obviously written by a fifteen year old hornball.

62. And this one, too.

63. Most hated food(s)?
Spicy food.

64. What’s your least fav.?
See above

65. Can you sing?
Let me be delusional and say yes.

66. Last person you instant messaged?
Cheryl. From cell.

67. Last place you went on holiday?
China.

68. Favourite regular drink?
Sprite. Tea. Etc.??? Anything sweet and high in sugar~

69. Current Song?
Whataya Want from Me - Adam Lambert
Tear Down the Walls - Hillsong United
What the World will Never Take - Hillsong United

MemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMeme

RULE 1
You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2
You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages/comments you and asks!

1) Kissed one of your dA friends?
Innocent.

2) Danced on a table in a bar?
Innocent.

3) Ever told a lie?
Guilty.

4) Had feelings for someone you can't have?
Guilty.

5) Ever kissed someone of the same sex?
Innocent

6) Kissed a picture?
Innocent. =.=

7) Slept in until 5 PM?
Innocent. O.O

8) Fallen asleep at work or school?
Guilty.

9) Held a snake?
Guilty.

10) Been suspended from school?
Innocent. ^^

11) Worked at a fast food restaurant?
Innocent.

12) Been fired from a job?
Innocent.

13) Done something you regret?
Guilty

14) Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose?
Innocent.

15) Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
Innocent.

16) Kissed in the rain?
Innocent.

17) Sat on a rooftop?
Guilty.

18) Kissed someone you shouldn't?
Innocent.

19) Sang in the shower?
Guilty.

20) Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
Innocent

21) Shaved your head?
Innocent.

22) Slept naked?
Innocent.

23) Had a boxing membership?
Innocent.

24) Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
Innocent.

25) Donated blood?
Innocent.

26) Eaten alligator meat?
Innocent.

27) Eaten cheesecake?
Guilty.

28) Still love someone you shouldn't?
Replace love with like, guilty

29) Have/had a tattoo?
If it's airspray, Guilty

30) Liked someone, but will never tell who?
Guilty.

31) Been too honest?
Guilty.

32) Ruined a surprise?
Guilty.

33) Ate in a restaurant and got so bloated you couldn't walk afterward?
Guilty.

35) Erased someone on your friends list?
Guilty.

35) Dressed as a girl (if male)/dressed as a boy (if female)?
Guilty all the time.

36) Joined a pageant?
Innocent.

37) Been told that you're handsome or beautiful by somebody who totally meant what they said?
Innocent.

38) Communicated with your ex?
Innocent. (What ex?)

39) Got totally drunk the night before you had an important exam?
Innocent. =.=

40) A total stranger treated you by paying your jeepney/tricycle fare?
Innocent.

41) Got so angry that you cried?
Guilty.

42) Tried to stay away from someone for their own good?
Guilty

43) Thought about suicide?
Guilty.

44) Thought about murder?
Guilty.

45) How about mass murder?
GUILTY

46) Tried illegal drugs and the like?
Innocent.

47) Ridden in a stranger's vehicle?
Guilty.

48) Stalked someone?
Guilty. ~_^

49) Been so drunk you forgot what happened while you were intoxicated?
Innocent.

50) Had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Innocent.

52) In love?
Like I said, replace love with like, guilty.

MemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMeme

[x] Mother
[x] Father
[ ] Step-Father
[ ] Step-Mother
[ ] Step-Sister
[ ] Step Brother
[x] Brother
[ ] Brother In Law
[ ] Sister
[ ] Sister In Law
[ ] Half sister
[ ] Half brother
[] Nephew
[] Niece
[ ] Girlfriend
[ ] Boyfriend
[x] Cell phone
[ ] have/had swimming pool
[ ] Have/had a Hot tub
[x ] Guestroom
[x] Living Room
[ ] Game Room
[x] Computer
[x] TV
Total: 8

[x] Full size or bigger bed
[] More than 8 pairs of shoes
[ ] Sunglasses
[x] Watch
[x] MP3 Player/iPod that works
[ ] PS2 that works
[ ] Xbox that works
[] Nintendo DS or PSP that works
[ ] Gameboy/Advance
[ ] Gamecube
[ ] Wii
[ ] PS3
[x] Laptop
Total: 4

[ ] Basketball/Netball hoop
[ ] Air hockey table
[ ] Pool table
[ ] Ping pong table
[ ] Football table
[ ] Volleyball net
Total: 0

[x ] Night stand
[ ] Stereo in bedroom
[ ] DVD player in bedroom
Total: 1

[ ] Goes shopping at least once a week
[x] AIM/MSN
[x] Camera/or on phone
Total: 2

[ ] Electric or gas scooter/4x4/motorcycle/car/go-cart
[ ] Guitar/drums/bass guitar
[x ] Piano/Keyboard
[ ] Any other instrument
[x] Been on a cruise
[x] Traveled out of the state
[ ] Had a personal trainer
[x] Expensive jewelery
[] Met a singer/band/actor/actress
Total: 4

[x ] Straightener/curling iron (My Mom's)
[ ] Have been to a batting cage
[x] Have $50 on you right now
[ x] Credit card or ATM and or debit card of bank card
[x] Have/had a massive tv
[x] Mirror in your room
[x] You have about two closets in your room
[x] 2 or more bedrooms in your house
[] Been to Las Vegas
[ ] Been to the Bahamas
[ ] Been to Mexico
[ ] Have over 5 trophies in your room or medals or ribbons
Total: 7

[x] Your Parents have a car
[ ] You have a car
[ ] You/parents own or owned a Jet Ski/boat
[ ] Have owned or own skis/snowboard
Total: 1

[x] Been camping
[x] Been to 3+ states
[] 100+ buddies on facebook/myspace/aim
Total: 2

[] Home cooked meal almost every day
[] Been in a limo
[x] Been in an airplane
[x] Own/owned a camcorder
[x] Own a computer
Total: 3

End Total: 32

0 or less = Bum
1-22 = Poor emo
23-33 = Average Teen
34-44 = Upper class teen
45-up = Rich brat

Yay! I'm average. Haha! But I'm still spoilt. XP

MemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMemeMeme

Outcast
[x] You don't have very many friends.
[] Often times, teachers forget your name.
[x] You were always picked last for kickball.
[x] You don't like to talk a lot.
[x] You tend to avoid mass social activities.
[ ] You don't participate in any extracurricular activities.
[x] All you wish for is to move away or get a fresh start.
[ ] Your friends have blown you off before.
[ ] You sit alone in most of your classes.
[] You have a feeling that once you leave high school or college, nobody is going to remember you.
[x] You hold interest in activities that other people find strange.
[ ] People don't find you friendly.
[ ] You hold extreme hate towards another high school stereotype.
[ ] You eat alone at lunch.
Total = 6

Party Girl/Boy
[ ] Lets face it: you like to party.
[ ] You party every other weekend.
[ ] ...Or every weekend?
[ ] You've been going to frat house parties since early high school.
[ ] You're the defending beer bong champion.
[ ] You know the best hook-ups in the state... world.
[ ] Everybody who's anybody goes to the same parties you go to.
[ ] You've hooked up at parties.
[] You spend time getting ready for parties.
[ ] You've passed out from being too drunk.
[ ] You've partied all night.
[ ] You've snuck out of the house to party.
[x] Actually, your parents really don't care if you party or not.
[ ] You're pretty much nocturnal.
[ ] You like to go clubbing.
[ ] You and your friends always party hop.
[ ] You've crashed a party before.
[ ] One way or another, you've wound up naked in front of everybody at a party.
[ ] You've thrown up from drinking too much.
[ ] You've done something that you regret at a party.
[ ] You can dance.
[ ] You're friends with a lot of people older than you.
Total = 1 HAHA!

Scene Kid
[ ] You know what sXe and hXc actually mean.
[ ] You have a obsession with dinosaurs, robots, and Pokemon.
[ ] You idolize Jeffree Starr
[ ] People have called you scene before.
[ ] You spend at least an hour getting ready to take pictures of yourself for your myspace.
[ ] You have a mirror pic.
[] You listen to bands that most people have never heard of.
[] You enjoy going to shows.
[ ] You only go to shows for the sake of going to shows, not the music.
[x] Your hair is multicolored.
[ ] You accessorize your hair with kiddie barrettes and bows.
[ ] Fashion is one of the most important things that define you.
[ ] You mosh.
[ ] You often mix vintage with modern.
[ ] Your myspace picture captions are sad lyrics to sad songs.
[ ] All of your friends are scene.
[ ] You don't know many of the people on your friends list in person.
[ ] You take angled pictures of yourself.
[] You enjoy photography.
Total = 1

Prep
[ ] You pop the collar.
[ ] You won't go near the "goths".
[x] You own at least one thing from a designer store.
[x ] You are very clean cut.
[ ] You are squeamish.
[ ] People have called you preppy before.
[] You never leave the house without putting on cologne/perfume.
[x ] You have a lot of money.
[ ] You know who LC is.
[ ] You watch shows like The OC, The Real World, The Hills, and Laguna Beach.
[ ] One favorite stores are Abercrombie & Fitch or American Eagle Outfitters.
[ ] You're afraid to set foot into Hot Topic.
[ ] (Girls) You carry a purse wherever you go.
[ x] You need to wake up at least an hour before school so you can get ready. (i need to wake up that early so im actually alive before i leave the house.. XD zombielol)
[ ] (Girls) You do not leave the house without make up.
[x ] You are content overall with how your life is going.
Total = 5

Band Geek
[] You have played an instrument before.
[ ] You still play an instrument.
[ ] You are/were in regular Band.
[ ] You are/were in Jazz Band.
[ ] You are/were in Marching Band.
[ ] You've never dated anybody outside of Band.
[ ] Most of your friends are in band.
[ ] The band room/band hall is your second home.
[] You enjoy listening to Classical music on occasion.
[ ] You aspire to be a Drum Major.
[ ] You've made out with somebody on a Band bus or at a Band competition.
[ ] You have trouble getting your non-band friends to go near the band room.
[ ] Band is your favorite class.
[ ] You have been to band camp.
[ ] You walk in step with all your friends.
[ ] You talk about band constantly.
[ ] You know that American Pie has got it all wrong.
[ x] You hate rap music.
[ ] Marching Season is your favorite time of year.
[ ] When you go to football games, you don't really pay attention to the game itself.
[ ] Your favorite jokes are band jokes.
[ ] You know it's not about the bloods and the crips: it's the brass and the woodwinds.
Total = 1

Thespian
[x] You have seen a school play.
[x ] You have seen a Broadway musical
[ ] You like to act.
[] You have participated in a school play.
[ ] You have participated in a play outside of school.
[ ] You have gone to the Thespian Conference.
[ ] You get ticked off when people make that thespian, "Did you say lesbian?" joke.
[] You have done tech.
[x] You know that you cannot touch anybody else's props.
[ ] You have played in the pit orchestra for a musical.
[ ] You have been to a cast party.
[ ] You are in a thespian troupe.
[x ] You often sing show tunes at the top of your lungs.
[ ] You know who Idina Menzel and Johnathan Larson are.
[ ] At one point in your life, you were obsessed with RENT.
[ ] You do not have a personal bubble.
[ ] You actually understand Shakespeare.
[ ] You know how to put on stage make up.
[ ] You have been a lead.
[ ] You met a lot of your better friends through theatre.
Total = 4

Overachiever
[ ] You participate in a lot of extracurricular activities.
[ ] You have a part-time job.
[ x] You have straight As. (had)
[ ] You are in mostly honors/IB/AP classes.
[ ] You do not procrastinate.
[ ] You have scored a 5 on an AP test.
[] You do not have very much down time.
[ ] You are very organized.
[x] You always have a thousand things going on at once.
[ ] You are in a relationship.
[] You aspire to get into an Ivy League School.
[] In your extracurriculars, you hold leadership positions.
[ ] You are/were on Student Council.
[ ] You are/were the class president.
[ ] You are/were a class officer.
[ ] You are/were the Salutatorian for your class.
[ ] You are/were the Valedictorian for your class.
[x] People have told you that you don't have a life.
[ ] You are getting/have already received the IB Diploma.
[ ] You cry hysterically when you get anything lower than an A on anything.
Total = 3

Slacker
[x ] Your grades are slipping.
[x] You always wait until the last minute to do big projects.
[x] You are an overall procrastinator.
[ ] You tend to do your homework when you're watching TV.
[ ] It takes you ages to turn your job applications in.
[ ] You are often late to school/work.
[ x ] You don't turn in a lot of your work.
[x] You spend the majority of your time watching TV, the computer or going on Myspace when you could be doing something more productive.
[] You sleep in past noon on the weekends and during the summer.
[] You do not get out of your pajamas unless you have to leave the house.
[ ] You could walk, but you'll just drive.
[x ] You have fallen asleep during class before.
[x] Friends have called you lazy.
[x] Life is hard when you lose the remote & you have to walk a million miles over to the TV and change the channel.
[ x] When you hang out with your friends, the majority of your time is spent playing video games or doing something where neither of you have to stand up.
[] You have eaten an entire pint of ice cream in one sitting.
[x] You have sat through an entire running marathon of a show before.
Total = 10

Goth
[] Your wardrobe consists of mostly black things.
[ ] When you have the money, you shop at Hot Topic.
[x] You think tattoos are hot.
[x]You think odd piercings are hot.
[ ] You don't get along with your parents.
[x] You have/want to dyed/dye your hair an exotic color.
[ ] You've styled your hair in liberty spikes.
[x] Sometimes you ponder the meaning of life and death.
[x] You like to write dark poetry.
[x] You are into S&M. >.>
[ ] You have a pair of over sized black pants.
[ ] At one point in your life, you liked Foamy, Happy Bunny, Emily the Strange, and the Happy Tree Friends.
[ ] You listen to grunge.
[ ] You have a messenger bag with buttons up and down the straps.
[ ] You smoke cigarettes.
[ ] You will only date other Goths.
[ x]You don't really care what people think about you.
[x] Overly happy people scare you.
[ ] You like black makeup & nail polish best.
Total = 8

Nerd
[x] you actually study for tests and quizzes
[ ] You have straight As.
[x ] You haven't had any luck with the opposite sex.
[ ] You are into WoW, Magic Cards, and Halo.
[]You over analyze jokes to the point where they aren't funny anymore.
[x]Your mom buys your clothes for you.
[x] You actually answer the questions in class.
[x ] You sit front row center in all of your classes to get the best learning experience.
[x ] You miss school during the summers.
[ ] You wear your pants at your waist.
[] You prefer sweatpants to jeans.
[ ] You have a pocket protector in your shirt with pens and a calculator in it.
[ ] You let cute boys/girls take advantage of you & copy your homework in hopes of getting noticed.
[ ]You've noticed some of the spelling and grammar mistakes in this survey.
[ ]People always cheat off you during tests.
[ ] Your parents pack your lunch for you every day.
[x] You wear/should be wearing glasses.
Total = 7

Garage Band Junkie
[ ]You play the guitar
[ ] You have been in a garage band before.
[ ] You're still in a garage band.
[ ] You think your band is going to make it big someday.
[ ] You play shows almost weekly.
[ ] You play the drum set.
[ ] You sing vocals for a band.
[ ] You write your own lyrics.
[ ] You spend hundreds on amps and microphones.
[ ] Your band has a myspace page.
[ ] You have been in multiple garage bands.
[ ] You have changed the name of your band at least twice.
[ ] You have participated in a battle of the bands.
[ ] Your band has been signed.
[] You have taken guitar classes at school.
[ ] You have played at the same venue multiple times.
[x] You would rather make it big than have to go to college.
[ ]You have musical talent.
[ ] You have groupies.
[ ] You've made t-shirts and other apparel for your band.
Total = 1

Gangsta
[ ] You actually are black.
[x] You know who the bloods and the crips are.
[ ] You wear doo-rags.
[ ] You actually grew up in the ghetto.
[ ] You can freestyle.
[ ] You drive down the street blaring your music.
[ ] Your ride is pimped out with stereo boosts.
[ ] You can break dance.
[ ] You say "nigga" a lot.
[ x] You talk too fast for people to understand you.
[ x] You are pretty chill with life.
[ ] You wear your jeans oversized and below your butt.
[] Old school rap is the best.
[ ] You know that Tupac will never die.
[ ] You wear bling.
[ ] You have/want a custom grill.
[ ] You have custom rims on your tires.
[ ] You are actually in a gang.
[ ] You are always big pimpin'.
Total = 3

Emo
[ x] You often have trouble convincing people that you aren't emo.
[x] You comb your hair over one of your eyes.
[x] You flip your hair often. (I did when my hair was longer... >.>)
[x ] You have dark-rimmed glasses. (blood red baby)
[] You have hurt your self on purpose.
[ ] If you're a boy, people often complain about your pants being too tight.
[ ] You don't really smile too often.
[x] You blog often. (Now I do)
[ ] You never smile in pictures.
[ ] You listen to Thursday and/or Sunny Day Real Estate.
[x ] You're too much of a pussy to be a goth.
[ ] You own a lot of band t-shirts.
[ ] You go to a lot of shows.
[ ] You only go for emo/scene boys and girls.
[ ] It doesn't take very much to make you cry.
[ ] You have played all the Emo Games.
[x] You have worn black eyeliner before.
[ ] You own a bandana which you wear in your hair.
[x] You have dark hair.
[x] You love the emo song.
[] You say stuff like "I feel like my heart's being ripped out" and all.
Total = 9

Skatepunk
[] You own/ed a skateboard.
[ ] You have been skateboarding since you were in grade school.
[ ] You have gotten many injuries from skateboarding.
[ ] You know that World Industries and Element aren't just clothing lines.
[ ] You have vandalized public property.
[ ] You have TPed/egged somebody's house before.
[ ] You have been yelled at for loitering.
[ ] You have gotten in trouble with the cops.
[x] You listen to punk rock.
[ ] Chicks on skateboards are hot.
[ ] You stick it to the man.
[ ] You own skater shoes.
[ ] You watch MTV2, not MTV.
[x] You enjoy crude humor.
[x] Screw school, lets do crazy stuff.
[x] You know that there are other pro skaters out there besides Tony Hawk.
[ ] You pretty much live at the skate park.
[ ] Hygiene does not concern you.
[x] Skater boys are attractive.
Total = 5

Metalhead
[ ] Most people are scared of your music.
[ ] A lot of the bands you like have violent names/titles/lyrics.
[ ] You hate emo kids.
[ ] You have gotten kicked out of a public place multiple times before.
[] Slipknot isn't really metal.
[] You appreciate really good guitarists of any genre, particularly flamenco.
[ ] You hate pop and rap.
[ ] You spend all your money on music-related stuff.
[] Scene kids are fun to laugh at.
[] You will become friends with anyone if they like the same bands.
[ ] You curse a lot.
[ ] You can name at least five sub genres of metal.
[ ] You wore black converses before they became emo.
[ ] At least one of your favorite bands thinks they're Vikings.
[ ] You also like classic rock, such as Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd.
[ ] You have yelled at someone for their taste in music.
Total = 0

Results
Outcast- 6
Party Girl/Boy- 1
Scene Kid- 1
Prep- 5
Band Geek- 1
Thespian- 4
Overachiever- 3
Slacker- 10 (Oops)
Goth- 8
Nerd- 7
Garage Band Junkie- 1
Gangsta- 3
Emo- 9
Skatepunk- 5
Metalhead- 0

XD Looks like I'm a slacker now. Haha! Second is Emo, then Goth... WTH AM I GOTH?!?!? Third is Nerd. Sheesh! This quiz is full of stereotypes. XD Hahaha!

Back to the present?

Tell the world that Jesus lives
Tell the world that, tell the world that
Tell the world that he died for them
Tell the world that he lives again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These few days have been real hectic. And I'm supposed to be studying. But I wanted to blog this before I forget.

The last day of prayer meeting is really crazily fun. I want to tell the world that Jesus lives~~ Haha! I have so much to study. I HAVE A TEST ON WEDNESDAY AND I HAVEN'T FINISH STUDYING!!! But I do not regret what I have done. Call it silly or blind faith or whatsoever, but being in church, singing my heart out for God, even though my heart is dry and my spirit is empty, is the most energizing feeling I will ever have. I'm such an idiot. I know I can feel God's love if I reach up hard enough. I can feel His strength when I sing outloud for Him. I can feel His security when I pray. (To the point that I can actually fall asleep.)

So why am I still looking for these in this dying world???

I'manidiotI'manidiotI'manidiotI'manidiotI'manidiotI'manidiotI'manidiot

I'm scared I won't do well for this test... I'm a procrasinating perfectionist and you will never find anyone more contradictory than me. Anyway... I'm... Just at a loss now, actually. I don't know what to do anymore... If I continue like this, I will burn out. For sure. But... I dunno... I really dunno anymore.

LostLostLostLostLostLostLostLostLostLostLostLostLostLostLostLostLost


I visited YX during the Cheer Competition on Sat in Expo. F and I accompanied me there. ^-^ Together with my beloved bro. I doesn't like YX. =.= I dunno. I does have a sixth sense for such things. And he warned me that continuing to like YX will only get me hurt in the end. And F wants to protect me, and if I doesn't help... F will "trash" him silly. XD I think... For the longest of time... I know. I know liking him will get me nowhere. And I will get hurt. So far... I treated YX like a friend... Except my boundaries for friends are larger than what most people allow... Like E, for example. To me, he is really only like a big brother. I do not like him that way. But people say that the way I treat him and vice versa is like boyfriend/girlfriend. Zzz. If that's the case, the way I treat my brothers would be considered incestuous. =.=

I do not follow conventional guidelines. Do not group me with you. I am myself. If you idiots can't accept that, GET LOST.


ZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzz

These few days have been real tiring for me though. I think I average more sleep on my weekdays than on my weekends. >.< Because we're moving house, we have a lot of things to settle, and everything is just so hectic, I can't even rest when I want to. My home doesn't feel like home anymore... D8 Can't wait till we move. Maybe things will be better then. Either that, or I will just break-down, because I cannot take this kind of stress. Study stress I can still learn to cope. But this stress... I can't take. I'm not strong at all, no matter what people say. I think... God is the only one who can truly see how weak I am, as well as how strong I can be. But right now... I don't feel strong at all...

I need you Lord Jesus
To come to my rescue

HelpHelpHelpHelpHelpHelpHelpHelpHelpHelpHelpHelpHelpHelpHelpHelp

I don't know what to feel
I don't know what to do
I don't know anything anymore

Tell me God,
What should I do?
What should I feel?

Tell me... Before I break completely...

I'm trying to pull myself together... But pieces keeps breaking off.
I won't be able to hold on for long.

Help.

Back to the present?

Inume left~~!! And I'm left all alone again. >.< We watched FF7 Advent Children before she left. XD She insisted that Cloud was cute, while I much prefer Sephiroth. XD For once, I prefer the guy with long hair~~

*sigh* This week is a good week to "detox" from YX per say... As in... I still think about him, but I am more distracted with Inume around... So I don't feel the ache as much... Be still, oh dumb heart~

Right now, the bane of my existance is CHINESE!!! OMG! I HAVE A TEST ON WED AND THE TEACHER HAVEN'T FINISH TEACHING IT YET!! THE BEST PART: I HAVEN'T FINISH MY NOTES ON THEM!!! I'M SO SCREWED!!!

Saturday and Sunday don't have time to study~~!! ZZZ!!! Oh manz... *worry worry*

YX's competition is this sat... I don't know if he's nervous... But I am for him... >.<

Don'thopeDon'thopeDon'thopeDon'thopeDon'thopeDon'thopeDon'thopeDon'thope

Sometimes, I really hate being human.

Back to the present?

There might have been a time
When I would give myself away
Oooh once upon a time I didn't give a damn
But now, here we are so whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Just don't give up I'm workin it out
Please don't give in, I will let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm only human. Sometimes... I really wonder... Why am I who I am? I... don't even understand myself, let alone others... Who am I to judge or to analyse what others do? Who am I to comment and criticise others? Yet, still I do.

I'm just really glad I have my cousin to stabilize my mind at the moment. If YX is my tranquiliser, she's my drug. Hm... Sometimes... I really wonder if he's just nice to me because I like him...? Zzz... Hm... I wonder if I'm even worth the effort... I know my flaws. I ain't blind. I wonder... I really wonder.

... Or I'm prone to be attracted to nutcases... First Josh, now YX. Zzz... Sometimes... Being too nice ain't healthy... For ME at least...

By the way, Operation "Kill Emotion in Heart" is epic fail. OTL Just when I thought I could let him go... He comes right back in... *banging head against wall* I'm such an idiot. Correction: I'M POSSESSIVELY OBSESSED. Crap.

WhyGodWhyGodWhyGodWhyGodWhyGodWhyGodWhyGodWhyGodWhyGod

Going high~~ I miss my family... I know my mom misses me too~~ I wanna go home and just... relax and chill out. Need to retreat to my own sanctuary... To clear my mind.

I wonder... Whether I'd be missed if I were to disappear...? After all, to quote from "The Bucket List", I live, I die, and the wheels of the bus goes round and round.

ZZZ!!! I really should focus on chinese... Focus... Focus... *out of focus*

ChineseChineseChineseChineseChineseChineseChineseChineseChineseChinese

I need to blow something up...

Back to the present?

And it feels like you are always with me
on these lone nights, in another lonely city
you are right here, right now
cos in my mind i never left at all
never left at all (oh)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Inu-chan introduced me to this boyband JLS. Haha! They're quite nice~~

Off Topic.

I HAVEN'T DONE CHINESE!!! CRAP!!! I'M GONNA DIE!!! I'm supposed to make notes on chinese... But I've not done it... I'm so screwed!! Zzz... Procrasination sucks... Maybe it's because I'm tired... Zzzz... I'm not very productive today... D8 Hope I can do better tmr... Zzz... I hate my brain... It's too one-tracked.

Randomness~~

I found some very funny quotes... But I guess there's one that seems to shout out to me... "Dance as if no one's watching. Love as if it's never going to hurt" - Stuart Appleby
I really just friends with him. I'm just friends with him. I'm just friends with him. DAMMIT. I will say it until I convince myself. I'm just friends. With him. And at the end of the day, I will smile despite the fool that I am, and let it go. And I won't cry. Not in front of anyone. No one will see those tears I cry. I won't let them... I will not be that weak in front of them. I'll be alright.

How do you let go of someone who treats you so well... Even though you have an inkling that you probably don't amount much in his eyes? WHY AM I DRAWN TO THE WEIRDOES IN LIFE?!?!???!

Back to the present?

Yo! My beloved is camping in my hostel and she's asleep~~~ *thinking thoughts ppl shouldn't be thinking* XD Ok. Alternative personalities aside, today went quite well.

In church, the pastors form a bridge of prayer (think London Bridge game except with praying) which is quite cool and very nice... The Senior Pastor is going on a 6 months sabbatical leave... D8 It's gonna be different without his silliness and humour around...

Anyway, today has cheerleading! I didn't know! XD Talk about letting YX go... I think the more I look at it... I'm just a friend. I shouldn't over-analyse. Stupid Lit... Anyway, my dear dear DEAR cousin shall be my victim companion for the next four days. Mwhahaha! She's at my mercy alright. ~_^

It's late now and I shouldn't be disturbing Sleeping Beauty behind me. So cheerios~~

P.S. Just because I decided to just be friends with YX doesn't mean that I won't be posting about him... It just means I will also be posting about... Other stuffs besides him... XD

Back to the present?

Oh yeah~

Back to the present?

This week is full of Mist. I don't know if it's just me... But somehow... The Sky eludes me. The Lightning in me is fighting for dominance, but the Rain knows, oh the Rain knows, that I will never be the Cloud.

The Storm is trying to pull the Sky back in place, but I know, unless I stop reaching for the Clouds, the Sun will never reach me.

Why do I always long for the Clouds in my life? And ironically... The Clouds are really good at creating Mist too.

Tell me... Is it all an illusion? Or was there something real in the Mist?

Waiting for the Mist to clear... And for the Sun to shine brightly down my back again, pushing me forward to the Azure Sky.

The Cloud Guardian is apt at using the Mist rings, it seems, or I'm just too easily blinded by the smallest of things. Anyway, the Mist Guardian will be arriving next week in SBS~!!! Hopefully, I can whine to her... XD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the rainbow fades,
You will lose that dream
to achieve that power of God.

Even if you won't let go,
the Sky will take you out,
And never let you back in.

Back to the present?

Hm... I just realised what a tough decision it is to fast for 21 days... Sure... a week, can... I'm not that addicted. I don't need it... But when temptation hits you hard in the face... Can you truly deny that you want it badly?

I am only human. I want to play, to de-stress... To do things I didn't get a chance to do because I was too blind to everything but studying...

Zzz... Those who can juggle play and studies are really awesome... I realised.

I want him. I realised that long ago. But admitting it has never been easy. I'm just real glad he doesn't read my blog. I want to be near him, to be by his side... Damn... I'm getting obsessed... Dear God, I wonder, are You this crazy over me as well?

Inume was right. We'll always call on God whenever we want something. Once in a while, we remember to say thanks. Once in a while, we remember to say hi. But most of the time, we say nothing at all.

Zzz... My thoughts are filled with him and they are not disappearing. ZZZ!!! My mind is really one-tracked. I wish to spend more time with him. But I can't. He's human too. He needs space. Blah blah blah. (You have no idea how often i repeat this to myself. Self-therapy doesn't work.) I am SUCH A FOOL!!! (AND I AM RANTING)

Dear God. When have I been such a blubbering lovesick idiot...? ... I AM NOT IN LOVE! I am just... tired of feeling.

At the moment, my life feels like some roller coaster ride. The part just before the carriage plummets to the ground and crash and burn. It's an agonizing wait. I'm just waiting for everything to just come crashing down like some tidal wave. It's like I can see it coming... But it ain't falling yet. And I'm just standing there, mouth open like an idiot, waiting for it to slam down on me.

... Or maybe, being alone in a room with no one around but the insects and the forest does things to your brain...

I want to disappear into the night sky...

Tell me... Will you miss me when I'm gone?

Back to the present?

Should I know...? Do I want to know??? I'm afraid. If he says no. I don't know... I may be paranoid... Or I may be overlooking things. Maybe all he wants is to be friends. Maybe it's all in my head. Do I want to know the answer? Should I know? Should I not? Zzz... I'm afraid to know. Crap. Having a crush is so frustrating. It's irrational, improbable, and most irritating. I can't control it. I don't even know what to do with it.

Toss it away~
And close your eyes
Pretend it's never there

Back to the present?

I am missing u~

Back to the present?

From Trish's blog

Who is the last person you sent a text to?
YX

Do you get jealous easily?
Yes

Are you wasting your time on the person you like?
Yes. Unfortunately. I'm a sucker.

What are you currently waiting for?
Said person to REPLY MY SMS

Honestly, do you really love the last person you said I love you too?
Yes.

Is anything wrong with your eyes?
My right eye is 400 and my left is 125... AND I LIKE AN IDIOT.

Who were the last people you saw besides from family?
YX. (ZZZ!! I think all my answers are going to be related to him!!)

If something was wrong, who is the first girl you would go to?
Francine

Which of your friends lives closest to you?
Francine

How do you feel about Diet Dr Pepper?
Hm... I prefer Pepsi Twist. And Coca Cola.

Do you go to the tanning bed on a regular basis?
No. I sun-tan once a blue moon with my mom though... XD

Does your bedroom need cleaning?
YES IT DOES. BUT I'M TOO LAZY

July 4th or St. Patrick’s Day?
Neither.

Are you comfortable with your height?
Actually, yes. 1cm taller would be nicer though. But it's not going to make much of a difference.

Do you act differently around the person you like?
I think so. I act more calm... Unusually. But when I'm away from him, I'm quite edgy. XP

Do you think teenagers can be in love?
Puppy love, yeah.

How fast does your mood change?
Fast

What do you always take with you?
My card to my hostel room. XD and my phone once in a while...

Anything on your walls?
In hostel, no. But in my soon-to-be-new house, I mose probably will spam puzzle pictures on the wall...

Has a boy/girl called you babe/baby lately?
No. If he does, I'll poke him. Girls, it's alright to call me babe! ~_^

Is there something that you want to tell someone but can’t?
Yes. "Oi Yuan Xiao!! Am I reading too much into this, if I say that I think you do like me too?"

Do you feel comfortable getting up and giving speeches?
No. Stage fright

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
I think it was Josh...

Would you ever want to swim with the sharks?
At the moment, yes.

Does anyone know your passwords besides you?
Me, myself and I

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
Green Tea

How many times have you dyed your hair?
Once.

Can you count past 1111?
1112, 1113, 1114, etc.

If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
No. Have you seen my sense of direction?

How old will you be in 17 months?
21!!

Do your best friends’ parents tend to like you?
No idea.

What’s your all-time favorite ROMANCE movie?
Romance... Romance... Do I watch romance?!??!

Are any of your friends taller than you?
ALL THE GUYS IN MY CLASS, YX, EVEN FRANCINE!!

Ever liked someone whose name started with a A?
... No.

Ever really cried your heart out?
Yeah. It's called Tears of Stress.

Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2009?
Maybe, maybe not.

Is there a difference between love and IN love?
Love, to me, is a commitment. Being in love is, mostly, emotion; and a very annoying one at that.

Does it bother you when someone says they will call you and they don’t?
Not really. I'll call them if they don't call me.

Did 2008 treat you good?
It was hell, hectic, chaotic, but it ended well.

Do you think you were raised well?
I've been raised pampered. XD But in terms of values, yeah, I was raised well. Too well.

Are you someone’s best friend?
Yes, and I her.

Where was the last place you were when you threw up?
Toilet, aeons ago.

What’s worse: liars or cheaters?
Cheaters.

Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
YES.

What’s usually colder, your hands or your feet?
Both take turns being cold. =.=

What’s your favorite type of flower?
Deep Red Roses

Give me a random lyric from the song you’re listening to:
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he watching us all in the eye of the tiger

Do you like competition?
Sadistically, yes

Do you think two people can last forever?
Physically, no. Spiritually yes.

Do you live in a ghetto neighborhood?
No

Who was the ugliest person you saw today?
Never noticed.

Has a song ever made you cry?
Yea. Christian songs. The others are not worth my tears.

Is the world crumbling to pieces?
Yeah.

Is your handwriting large, tiny, or pretty normal?
Relatively normal.

Your phone rings, what do you say?
"Hello"

Has anyone ever said they wanted to marry you?
No.

Do you ever cry during romantic movies?
Only if I'm alone. >.>

Do you always answer your phone?
Yea... I like talking on the phone. ... I like to talk period.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you?
My brothers? My dad? NOT YX.

Who was the last person you had a sleepover with?
Technically... We didn't sleep... The cheerleading team... With YX... WHY AM I ALWAYS GOING BACK TO HIM?!?!??!

Are you ticklish?
Yes. =.=

Back to the present?