Looks like another chapter of my life is closing.
Sigh. It was a whole bunch of drama, and a lot of innocent people got dragged in. =| But in the end...
I think... Our biggest mistake was being unable to communicate on the same level. I suppose it's a Gemini thing of me, but communication is particularly essential to me. If you can't speak on my level and I can't speak on yours, then it's best to just leave it.
Miscommunication = Misunderstandings. Let me clarify while I'm at it. Communication, to me, is more than just words. It's the way you say them, what you say, what your actions say, and what the overall generally tells me.
And the way you say things totally don't match up to the things you say and do. Of course, me being a girl tend to take note of tones more than just words. I generally don't remember what people say, but I do remember how they say it and how it affects me.
Your words. You can't see it, but they blackmail me. They attack me. And I don't know how to be around you or react around you when I can't tell whether you would be distanced from me, or if you would lash out at me (like that rather unforgettable argument) and emotionally threaten me, or if you would be nice and all.
You said that I don't seem to care about your feelings. Have you considered mine then? Do you know how freaking scared you made me? How scared I am of meeting you? Because I don't know what I'll be dealing with.
I don't know if anything I say would trigger you off. It's like waiting for a time bomb to explode.
Personally, I seriously doubt things will be as simple and as nice as you said they would be.
In case you failed to figure out, things are rarely as simple and nice when it comes to us. Eventually, something I say will make you explode. Something you say will hurt me. And the best part? You don't know. You don't seem to know how much I defended you from my class, how much I cared for you even when you hurt me, how much I gave up for you, how much I wanted to believe in something everyone is telling me to give up. (Or maybe you noticed but didn't care...)
And, to me, it has reached the point where what I invested into this relationship doesn't equate to the hurt I'm receiving.
So forgive me. I'll be protecting myself from now on.