Irrashaimasei~! My Never-Ending Story

I'm All That's Left

Saturday, January 21, 2006 2:50 pm

Yo... Not feeling too happy today... Well... I was... But things tend to spoil the mood... First off, I sprained my ankle... It doesn't hurt that much now anyway... I can walk, run and jump, with only minimal pain... So I guess it's ok... *sigh* Jerome is out partying with his friends... (His friend's birthday) and Kuri is busy with her work...

Just now, I was with Nahum and my bros... We set up a gigantic fire that lit up the whole playground! There was so much smoke! Hahaha! Anyway, we sat by the fire, going nuts... It's was very fun! (Too bad Crystal was not there... And Jerome is too busy...) *sigh* That's kind of spoiled the hyper mood already... It's not fun to have fun without sharing it with your friends...

My family made popiah for dinner today... We also drank different sorts of wine... First is white wine, then red wine, then ginseng wine... (Which I felt like spitting out...) And sparkling juice... it's very nice! *sigh*

School sux today... My stupid teacher asked me to present a speech as practice for oral exam... I won't mind it if... IT WASN'T IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL!!! Now I'm freaked out... And I'm going 3rd... And I don't have anything to prepare... And I don't know when to perform... DAMN! I hate not knowing such details... -_-" If that's not all, my teacher also wants me to try to hand in some of my poems for competition... WHAT THE HELL!!! I blame all those who pointed at me when the teacher was asking for poem writers... -_-"

Heh... I guess it's pretty obvious that I'm not in a very good mood isn't it...? But these sort of things irritate me to no end! I hate it!!! Life is full of Ups and Downs... And right now, I'm going through the drop of the century... *sigh* And I may not get selected for wushu performance on Chinese New Year... (Which I want to perform in...) Life sux... and then you die... Haha... That is some quote from some random guy I forgot... Anyway... Life seems to hate me and enjoys every second of my agony and torment this month... *sigh* And the up-coming O'levels is not helping... What's worse... is after O'levels... Graduation Night... I have to "dress up nicely" as Crystal puts it... THAT SUX!!! I can just picture myself in a stupid gown, without sleeves, and high heel shoes plus shiny earrings and everyone's eyes is on me... (YUCK!!!) *shivers* Can't visualise it without damaging my mind... The horror of it all!!! I can't believe it... -_-" Don't any of you readers even try to think about it... I'll bloody murder you if you do... -_-"

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Just Another Poem

Monday, January 16, 2006 12:45 pm

State of Depression

The darkness shrouds, I stood in fright

I'm all alone, on this cold,winter's night

Shattered to pieces, I never knew why

Curled up in a corner, I waved good-bye

I should have known, it was never meant to be

But it was you who set me free

Now I'm lost in the wild

Vanished through the crowd

Torn to bits, I can never be found

There's something missing, a hole inside

I'm left wide open, defenceless to fight

I'm drowning within a deep, dark trench

I can't be saved, my heart clench

Struggling to swim to a light I see

But a wave came flooding, overwhelming me

Now I'm lost in the wild
Vanished through the crowd
Torn to bits, I can never be found

It's burning yet cold, I cannot breathe

So hard it seems, I'm trying to live

Pain consumes me, tearing me apart

Like a knife it slices, piercing like a dart

I'm all alone, in the stillness of the dark

This scar won't heal, it leaves a mark

Because I'm lost in the wild

I've vanished through the crowd

Now torn to bits, I can never be found

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Stress I Conquer Thee!

Friday, January 13, 2006 8:30 am

Yo! These few days have really been rather stressful on me... Probably because I've been slacking the whole of last year... ^^" A bit hard now to get back on course... (I still don't wanna study...) Yeah... But I've been working a teeny bit harder than last year... (this teeny!) Anyway, due to a request of a friend, I decided to put up another poem... (Didn't know my pastime would be this popular...) I thought this poem was quite fitting, so here it is:

A Scholar's Grave

My head is splitting apart
The stress has gone to my heart
This is one thing I cannot fight
It is killing me from inside
English, Maths, Chinese, Science
Oh, these terrible horrible binds
I cannot see
It has blindfolded me
From the world outside, so pure and free
Why can't these bindings let me be?!
I want to jump and fly and run so wild
Together with friends from near and far
I want to play to my heart's content
These books I study, it's just a pretend
My head is aching from all those sums
I can't wait 'till holiday comes
All the letters and alphabet
I can't understand a single word
Equations and formulas, with more to come
My spirit feels so down in the dumps
They scold and lecture me, but what am I to do?
I'm sure the others agree too!
These work do more harm than good
They cause such a stressfu mood
No wonder all the adults lie dead
From too much usage of their head
But us kids do not think alike
We won't go down without a fight
But these adults don't understand
Why we keep playing to no end
Stress will wash over like tidal waves
Killing and burying us in our graves

Hahaha! I still love this poem. It's childish yet witty. My favourite. I wrote it when I was in Secondary 3, during Maths class. The teacher teaches slow... (I could learn the entire syllabus twice, and she'll still be stuck half-way...) Before my maths class, I had 4 tests... One after another, in ONE day... As relieved as I was that it is all over, it still gives me a headache to think about it...

My friend commented on my chinese compo today. Said it was quite good... (Yay! She's the class chinese pro!) Thank God... It was about how beautiful Life is... And the only thing I can think of is: Love... (And if my essay gets any more sappy, I'm gonna puke...) My English teacher made me recite a paragraph I had to write as in improvement to a story. ME!!! Of ALL people she could have picked! (WHY ME?! T-T) I hate reading in front of crowds... Then, due to my forgetful nature, I forgot to hand in my Maths homework yesterday and my teacher wants me to write a 500-word essay on 'why I didn't hand up my Maths assignment on time'. I did. My friend said it was full of melodrama... (In other words, I wrote BS...) And I skipped CCA... Mwhahahaha!!! Anyway, got my wish granted. I wanted to write an essay... Now got too many things to write... -_-" But other than that, school was quite fun.

Though there is this thing that has been bugging me... Why do so many people say "It doesn't matter; I'ts nothing, and nevermind" when it is so obvious that it is the opposite...? I probably won't know... I'm pretty straight-forward. But then... There are people in this world that LOVES to beat around the bush... And I'm bad at playing "Catch the Beater"... Sheesh... Is it really that hard to say what's on one's mind?! Sometimes, those words frustrate me to no end... *sigh* Life's like that I guess...

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Death would be Bliss

Saturday, January 07, 2006 3:05 am

Yo! Not in a good mood today... Remember I told you about Jerome? Found out his personality is a hell lot like Kuri's. (Which is good... and bad... in a sense...) Yeah... so both of us somewhat became friends... Then I accidentally insulted him unknowingly... Now he is super angry with me... What did I do??? I had no idea... And now I am unable to communicate with him because of it... Cried the whole day... (Getting too damn emotional...) It sucks... Yeah... So now I'm in a rather bad mood because of it...

Anyway, I wrote a poem/song about it... (Don't know whether nice or not...)

It Never Rain, but Pours

It never rain, but pours
Acid drops burns right through my pores
Yet the pain I feel is from deeper within
Attacking me for an unknown sin
In darkness I live, with walls so bare
Reaching for a light that was never there

What did I do?
I'm such a fool
Because I never knew
Which words could slew

The water is rising, drowning me deep
With guilt and regret for me to keep
Never knowing m own mistakes
I'm kept in the dark, with hurt in the mix
As I look towards the gloomy sky
I closed my eyes, and wondered why
Death will take me, I'm cold to the core
I now understand: It never rain, but pours

Why must it all end this way
Why can't I watch what I say
I never wanted this to end
I always thought you were my friend
Thousands of tears which I had cried
This pain is true, reality bites

What did I do?
I'm such a fool
Because I never knew
Which words could slew

The water is rising, drowning me deep
With guilt and regret for me to keep
Never knowing m own mistakes
I'm kept in the dark, with hurt in the mix
As I look towards the gloomy sky
I closed my eyes, and wondered why
Death will take me, I'm cold to the core
I now understand: It never rain, but pours

Haha... I hope this misunderstanding ends soon... I'm getting too damn emotional about it...

School is not too bad... Chinese was bad... (as always) Our new form teacher is our perverted physics teacher... (He should stop staring at the girls in our class...) Biology is CRAP!!! I'm sitting beside someone I really don't like. (He picks on me...) And surrounding me are a bunch of idiots... ACK!!! Why ME???!!! Maths is hell now... But the teacher is not too bad... He's trying to strengthen or foundations... In case the top of the pyramid tumbles, at least the base is safe... In a sense, that's good... (My base is very shaky...) Our english is quite ok I guess... I have to write a composition. (I love compo!) And wushu is getting better... At least I can last up to the end of the performance... Which is good I guess...

Forgot to mention in the previous post, I watched King Kong and Chronicles of Narnia. Aslan ROX!!! (That or maybe I'm crazy about wild cats...) Plus, King Kong is cool!!! Ok...I'm offically nuts about wild animals... Anyway... Life just got worse and I wanna do some ass-kicking to it...

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Hell Gates Open

Sunday, January 01, 2006 1:30 pm

Yo all! Now that school is about to start, Life's going to be hell... Especially with GEO O'levels next year. Christmas was quite nice. Lots of gifts. My parents finally agreed to give me contacts. (Too bad not coloured, wouldn't mind if my eyes turn red...) I got some interesting gifts. My grandma gave me a tape dispenser... --" (Of all things to give...) My uncle gave me a very interesting thing to hang on my door. It had quite a history of ancient Christians using it to remind themselves of God. On it is some text-like pictures, like a scripture. It's really cool. Last year, when he went China, he got me this china stamp, like the imperial stamp, except have my name on it. (I'm royalty!)

School's almost here. That means I can't play on my computer for long hours now... (Not that I can, but... Nice to break rules... ^^") Met a new friend, Jerome. He's quite a nice guy... Punk-like... but nice. Anyway, he's a bit too curious with how I look... (I look horrendous!) *sigh* Not much to write now... And I haven't done my English and Chinese homework! NOOOOOO!!! Plz write on my grave: An insane maniac, hopes she lives in pieces with her anime guys...

Well... I think I have nothing more to say... Oh yeah... Wushu... I'm gonna DIE!!! (If I'm not dead already...) The teacher wants me to perform for competition using 2 daggers. Problem? I not energy or stamina to last through it... Oh man... I'm gonna let my team down again... NOOOO!!! CRAP!!! Life's not fair at all... Hopefully, I can last through this year... T-T Ok... I'm being paranoid... (NOT!) *sigh* I give up... Just gonna take what Life dishes out and survive...

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