Today is a very lazy day. I woke up at 1.30 pm because the sky looked so dark, I thought it was still around 6am-ish. I'm the sort to wake by the sky, so if it's sunny, I'll wake up earlier. Doesn't mean I'll get out of bed though.
Spent my day reading all sorts of odd manga. Bitter Virgin is some sad story... Probably I'm hell against rape. Othello (Shoujo) is interesting. It's probably one of the few shoujo manga I didn't mind. XD It's about split personalities. ^-^
The most interesting one I read so far is Plant Doll. It's something like Petshop of Horrors, but less dark. The Petshop of Horrors is about selling love and dreams, and watching how humanity twists it into something dark and deadly. However, Plant Doll is about giving love. Most of its endings are ambiguous in the sense that it hints of a good ending, but somehow... There is a feeling of foreboding about it. There is a notion of how much humans can love something, and also how much they can be trapped by love itself.
I guess while the endings are nice, the forboding feeling I get is the idea that there is a lack of control over the doll, to the point one is willing to be enslaved by it. Everything for a smile, eh? If only life is so simple.
I guess the idea of a lack of control irks me. XD Like Inume, I really dislike things I can't control. The most obvious are my own feelings. Both mine and the people around me. I can't control my dad's anger. I can't control my brother's sadness. I can't control my mom's frustration. I can't control YX's happiness. etc.
I guess that's life... If I can control everything... Life won't be as fun. But it'll also be less scary.
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I think... Sam hasn't quite gotten over the wounds Shel made yet... What she did to him... Probably tore him apart to the point that she nearly broke him. Maybe she did. Maybe she didn't. But what I do know, is that he grew stronger. But his heart is still weak... And he became quite cynical about people for quite a while. Even now, when I know he is over her... Somehow, watching his face lit up when he sees her sms makes me realise that both him and I are much alike in this aspect.
When we like someone... Even when we let them go... We will always hold a soft spot for them. After all, they were the people who once held our hearts in their hands. And even if we took it back, a small piece will always be left behind. As a souvenir. Of where our hearts once been. And yes, even though he considers his relationship with her (or lack thereof) over, he still hopes. That silly boy... As the song goes... "Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill".
There can be miracles when I believe. The problem is... What happens if I stop believing? After all... I'm only human. I can fall. Fall down to my version of Hell. Oh joy.