Sowing with sorrow
Reaping with joy

God, will you bring out the Sun after the Rain?
Because I really need the Sun to shine down on me again.

Today's cell brought on many interesting topics which I had no time to reflect. WR was talking about faith. And how difficult it is to justify faith to the pre-believers. N says we are justified through faith and by faith. But to the pre-believers, it's harder to justify our faith to them. And I sort of understand that. After all, I have been in quite a few debates with I and F about religion and let's just say getting them to believe is much harder than breaking rocks with my bare fists.

Faith is believing without seeing. But for those who only believe what they can see, hear, feel, etc; how do we convince them that faith and God exists? The only way then, is to let God work in their lives to the point where they cannot deny God anymore, because there is no longer any logical explanation for their experiences. Faith itself is irrational. But it's there. To those who have experienced things, they cannot deny it. I guess... There is no way to really explain it. Though I quite like the way WR puts it. To talk to them about faith itself without explicitly talking about Christianity. There may be a concern about lukewarmness, but to be too passionate may only chase people away from God instead of bringing them closer.

There has to be a balance somewhere.

If you ask me... I have no idea how to explain faith to I or F or even YX. But I do know my faith. I know that however small it is in my life, it will never flicker away. After all, in my dull, dark life, it's probably the only light that I have that can still make me smile and make me feel safe. YX makes me smile too, but the safety factor... Will take time to develop.

I wonder if I actually can hang out with YX. Dunno if he is keen... Zzz. Can't tell what the hell is he thinking... Sigh... Looks like there's still lots of pieces that I need to fix for this guy... In the end... I wonder if I will actually know him... I don't think he puts on a mask. But he definitely will hide parts of himself. The same way I hide parts of myself too. Sigh... Part of him is like me. Those parts are easy to fix... But then again... We are not identical, and it's those different parts that seem to be like mine that makes it difficult to piece... Zzz... Sigh... Figuring out the person you care about the most, is both thrilling and challenging. Because there is no way feelings will not be involved. And that just screws up the picture more...

Ah heck. Enough with these thoughts. My brain's dying already.

Back to the present?