Zzz... Sch starts tmr and I am NOT looking forward to it... Zzz... How can I look forward to 4 hours of lecture in the morning!!! WITH NOT BREAK!!! ARGH!!!
Looking at my timetable just makes me sadder at the stupid reality of it all... Zzz... Learning was supposed to be fun... But somehow... My course has the amazing ability to suck out all the fun in the subjects... =.=
On the plus side, I get to see BMS(I), BMS(E) and BMS(N) on a daily basis now... ^-^ And cheerleading is back on! Yay!
...
Looking on the bright side doesn't quite help with the down side, not for school at least... ;_;
I believe I'm losing my mind.
Haha! I remember looking through some of my blank books (I have about 18 of them fully blank of various sizes and about 5 of them half-filled) ^^" Oops... Looks like my collection got the better of me... ^^ Anyway, I was looking at one of the half-filled ones, hoping to use it to note down stuff for my Y2 Sem 1. Interestingly, it was my JC's notebook that I chose. XD And I was looking through what I had filled in the book and I saw all sorts of funny things i did... ^^" From writing down important dates and self-appointed homework and stuff, I also saw all my silly doodling and half-assed plans for the future and stories which I wanted to write but never really got around to writing them, etc.
To continue from there... I believe it would be a good start for the semester. To start off at the point before I took a break from studying... Yesh. My Y1 was supposed to be a break from studying for me. Not that I stop studying altogether (Heavens forbid, my grades!!), but to take let studying take a backseat roll for ONCE in my life. And I did learn plenty during my first year in Uni.
I finally found something I actually like to do (Whoo! Cheerleading FTW!!). Or at least, the people there made it enjoyable enough that I actually miss the activity. I found out what it was like to befriend guys (I never really talked to guys before uni... ^^"). I learnt what it actually felt like to be a part of a group. ^-^ My BMS friends really made me feel as if I belonged there... Something... I never felt at all. And I finally learnt to stop wandering off on my own. ^-^
XD My JC friends would comment (if you actually talk to them) that I like to walk off, or wander off on my own without waiting for them... ^^" It is actually a bad habit, now that I think back about it... But for some reason, MJC really reminded me of my primary school and I reacted accordingly...
But here in uni, for the first time in a long while, I actually feel again... ^-^ Emotionally that is... Apparently, I've been shutting out all my emotions since... forever, to the point where I don't really care or feel anymore...
Learning to care, a burdensome problem, but a much needed skill if I wish to "grow up" in the words of YX. I guess I'm still learning... But... XD as P puts it, there is always a fear of knowing how truly naive and immature you are... Because then, you will know exactly how vulnerable you are to the world. And for people like her and me... We don't want to appear weak before anyone... But only those close to us will know how strong we truly are... XD
I guess that's why if anyone asks my brothers if I'm childish or immature, they can't really see it. ^^ Lazy and passive, yes. But not childish. And not really immature either...
Haha! I guess while most families will know your weaknesses best, mine knows my strengths best. ^-^ One of the odder traits of my dear family.
And how... Seeing how the beginning has no link with the ending, I have realised I have digressed far from the original content of this post. Oops. ^^"